Breakfast, State College style

Awesome.

Is there any meal more agreeable than breakfast? Is there anything better than a cup of coffee, eggs, and home-fries after a night of heavy drinking and during a morning of hang-over?

Those are rhetorical questions, by the way. This shit ain’t up for debate.

Unlike the other meals in State College, breakfast is almost always an enjoyable restaurant experience. Service is generally top notch, the food is good (it’s pretty tough to fuck up an omelet or eggs over-easy), and there are plenty of places to go.

According to Wikipedia (my go-to source for everything in life), however,

The erosion of breakfast has been an ongoing trend in the West since at least the early 20th century, coinciding with later waking times than when most Westerners had agricultural occupations. Today, hampered by busy morning schedules, many neglect breakfast or skip it entirely. This trend now exists in industrialized nations worldwide, where it is accompanied frequently by replacing local breakfast traditions with modern Western-style foods, often packaged or pre-made.

Unacceptable. I’m not saying I have a full, sumptuous breakfast every day, but I try to, dammit. Breakfast is necessary, and this packaged and pre-made shit doesn’t cut it, either. If you don’t have much time in the morning, I recommend buying or (preferably) finding a significant other who has one of these:

An explosion of taste in just 2 minutes

And despite what you might hear about eggs being dangerous for your health, it’s just not true. This website I found after a 5 second google search proves it.

You may note, at this point, that I equate breakfast with eggs. Well, yes. I’ll let pancakes, waffles, bagels (but ONLY with cream cheese), oatmeal, and sugary cereal count, too, but as for me – there must be some shelled nugget of goodness that came from a chicken's posterior.

Anyway, where does one go in State College to get breakfast? Here are my suggestions – but I’m always open to trying new places, so if anyone has a recommendation, leave it in the comments.

The Waffle Shop (3 locations)

Service: Excellent. Every weekend, these restaurants are packed. The lines stretch outside into the parking lot. And yet the wait is never more than 20 minutes. The waitresses (I’ve never had a waiter. Maybe they’re sexist?) waste no time, but they don’t rush you out the door, either. Coffee is served immediately, orders are taken quickly, and the food comes within 10 minutes – no matter how busy it is.

On the downside, they don’t take credit or check cards. Sometimes the home fries are not made well-done (*highly* recommended), even when I order them that way. Only the downtown location has a smoking section, and even then it’s smoke-free on the weekends. Of course, that’s not necessarily a downer.

Food: Standard breakfast fare, all made well. Prices are not too high, and the weekday specials are pretty good. Superior home-fries, solid omelets, etc.

Facilities: Clean, always stocked. A friend even tells me that, at one time, hangover vomiting went off without a hitch (you know who you are).

Atmosphere: Like an upscale Denny’s or IHOP, although the downtown location is a tad more grungy. Still, it’s always clean. Oh, and there are some weird paintings on the walls - good for sparking high brow, what-the-fuck-is-that? discussions.

Attractiveness of Clientele and Staff: On football weekends, the places are overrun with alumni and family – so not ugly, but not really attractive with the occasional gold-star individual. The downtown location during the week, however, does provide some eye-candy. The staff tends to be youngish (late high-school) but also has your old, grizzled waitress types. They serve well, but only in the restaurant business.

Summary: Rock solid place. My preference is for downtown during the week, the Atherton and Blue Course locations on the weekend. Wish they were open past 3:00pm.

The Corner Room

Service: One small step below excellent. Food comes quickly, as does the coffee, and the staff is obviously veteran.

Food: Nothing spectacular, but nothing bad, either. Home-fries are OK, but nothing close to the Waffle Shop variety. Breakfast wrap is decent. Early Bird special (weekdays, before 11am) is a fantastic deal for the price (2 eggs, home-fries, and toast for 2.25).

Atmosphere: The best word I can think of is comfortable. It’s not upscale, but not dingy. Nothing fancy, and just a bit old-fashioned.

Facilities: Can’t say I’ve ever relieved myself here (nor most places – I’m a camel, and I’m too lazy to leave the table once I’ve sat down), but I would assume they’re fine. The g/f says they’re good, but that it’s annoying to go up stairs to get to them.

Attractiveness of Clientele and Staff: Um, not so high. The hostesses in the morning tend to be female versions of the Wal-Mart greeter dudes – nice, but not something you’d touch that early in the morning, unless you’ve had a few of the Corner Room’s bloody maries!

Summary: Again, rock solid. I prefer the Waffle Shop’s dishes, but the Corner Room has a leg-up on pricing and location (College and Allen, can’t beat it).

Waffles and Cakes

Service: I admit to only having gone here once, but the service was good. There were hardly any other customers that day, though, so I can’t say fo’ real.

Food: Excellent variety, some dishes that don’t appear on the menu of the Waffle Shop or the Corner Room.

Atmosphere: Cool, diner-esque feel. Quirky coffee mugs a bonus. Potential for dirty trucker types is, I fear, high. Still, be a man (or woman) of the people! Mingle! Feel smug while pretending to have a connection with the masses!

Facilities: Again, didn’t use them.

Attractiveness of Clientele and Staff: Some really young ones working here, as I assume it’s at least partially a family establishment. In a few years though, there’s some serious potential.

Summary: I need to go again, but it’s out of the way by quite a bit (go down West College, past the mall). Go here if you want to get away from the crowds and if you tire of the offerings downtown.

Oh, and by the way: If you're in a hurry, Sheetz has amazing egg sandwiches. But then again, what at Sheetz isn’t amazing?